What if He Dies?

My DH was diagnosed today with cancer.  What if he dies?  What will be the impact on my seven year old son?  I look at my pale spouse and am pissed at how long it took him to go find out what was wrong.  I look at my pale, sick, scared, husband and I get it.  I would be that scared: scared enough not to want to know.  I would be that pale: hopeful that its nothing.  You?  We do not escape the human regulars of pain, fear, disease.  Positive thinking notwithstanding.  Now, here in the gap between what happens: to me, to you:   and how we react - well there is our future, our healing, our hope.  I plan to breathe into the gap and let go my fear.